No, I’m not anorexic…

…..I just have a strange relationship with food, that’s all. Plus, I’m just a girl. You know we ladies have this love-hate-love thing going on with food. We love our chocolate, cake, chips & ice-cream but hate what they do to our waistlines. “The food that is good for me and which I should eat, I do not eat. And the food that is not good for me and which I should avoid, I eat”. (Romans 7:19 — The Food Version)

I love food and sampling different cuisines. But I find eating to be quite like a chore – and who likes chores?Not me. If there was a way I could just press a button to translate the food from plate to stomach but still ensure I taste all of it…complicated, I know (sigh!) This didn’t start the other day by the way. Growing up, meal-time at our house was not a joke. Mum made sure that you either ate or saw fire. The choice was yours to make.
I am reliably told that I hated food (read vegetables) and at meal times would say “I don’t want food, I only want to eat rice.” As if that made any difference. I remember many times being left alone downstairs to finish my food, in the dark, while the rest of the family went off to bed – mum’s orders! At least she always left the staircase light on so that I  could find my way upstairs when I finished eating. And I was so innocent that I wouldn’t switch on the lights or even sneak to pour my food in the bin when I couldn’t finish. I just sat there for God knows how long, listening to my sisters snickering and having fun in their rooms. My saving grace was my dad who after a while would call me up and tell me to just go to bed.

My older siblings tell stories of how they would be made to go eat outside if they delayed finishing their meals – you know how kids just don’t want to eat. After several days of eating outside in the cold and sometimes in the dark, they discovered the trash can, ha ha. Of course you can only scam a mother for so long. When mum sniffed them out, they discovered the neighbours’ trash cans. Talk of necessity being the mother of invention! When mum busted their new move, they had to innovate fast – Carol my sis perfected the art of sneaking undesired food items from her plate to avoid eating them. She hated  the fatty pieces of meat (yum) so she would slip them into her panties (oops), ask mum for a bathroom break and unleash the meat into the loo. LOL, it was that bad!

The tradition passed on from the older ones to us younger siblings. Carey, my very sly sister was cutting edge I tell you. She didn’t need to risk her behind – she had me the “innocent one” to take her fall. She really hated carrots so she would throw her carrot pieces under my chair. SMH, I don’t need to explain the rest.

Now, you will find me eating oatmeal for lunch; toast in the evening and ‘ugali’ in the morning. I have become this interesting cross between a health freak and junk foodie.

So please understand when you see me skipping meals and all that.

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