So now I’ve been asked many times, “how come you’re not married?” One of our bosses who is a bit of a bully 🙂 especially enjoyed asking me such questions offering to hook me up with one of his many cousins. He usually managed to make me speechless but one day I said “yes, bring him, I would like the hookup”…. and that was the end of it.
Most times I just answer people that that’s just the state of affairs – there’s no big reason why I’m not married. It’s not like I can stand outside outside the gate and grab a passer-by and tell him I’d like to marry him!! Even dudes don’t do that and it’s traditionally their role to do the chasing and proposing.
So I’ve wondered, am I too choosy? Is my husband-to-be checklist from utopia? When I was in my early twenties, my pals and I would compare notes on what qualities we would like our future husbands to possess. I remember I had a list that was 10 items long.
You know it’s true that the older you grow, the less these stringent requirements make sense. In my mid twenties, I revised my “list” and came up with the 4 qualities which I considered deal-makers…. (I’ve just tried to list them but I can’t remember them all!!) It will just have to wait for another day.
Anyway, at some point I looked back and realised I didn’t even have a list any more. Somewhere along the way, something happened and such lists ceased to be an issue to me.No l won’t take just anything the cat dragged in but I have so evolved as a person and in my relationship with God, that such things would not worry me at all any more.
Is this right? People say you have to give God something to work with, in this case, your preferences so he can sort you out.
Okay, that may be true but some stuff can sound trivial – like “my ideal hubby should have long fingers and a dimple on his left cheek”. I think it’s alright to be detailed but up to what point? Does God get some leeway to operate given that He’s our heavenly father and knows what’s best for us? Does He being the author of our lives get the final say?
Don’t fret just yet, I’m not a hopeless case after all because I have given God my wish list. It contains just one item and knowing God to the extent that I have, I think I don’t really need more.
I told God that I just want a man who has the heart of God – whose heart beats for the things that God’s heart beats for. God’s choice. That will be enough for me.